Tuesday, August 21, 2007

My Big Mouth

Has, I've just calculated, cost me somewhere upwards of £80, 000 in the last couple of years. That is one shit load of mullah. Essentially it breaks down into one show where I refuse to walk around with a shit eating grin on my face, something that appears to be mandatory there despite the ratings, and one where I got canned after complaining that the script editor had the dramaturgical knowledge of Mike Tyson coupled with the common sense of a lemming on speed.
One or two of you may have got the false impression from this blog that I am a whining Diva. Oh wait.... did I say false. I'll edit that later.

Anyway, I think I've posted this advice before, but I'll say it again. It doesn't matter how stupid, nonsensical, impossible, just plain crap or bordering on lunacy the notes are that you get from a producer. If you want a career in this Biz you keep your head down, do what they want to the best of your ability, negating the awfulness where you can and then set fire to the cat. THEY pay your wages. It is okay for me to piss my career up against the wall. But DO NOT follow my example.

Okay that's the Surgeon General's advice out of the way.

I am passionate about what I do. I have to be to write it. I'm old enough and honest enough and been doing this long enough to have no time for tact. And I'm crazy enough not to give a shit if I get fired. Well that's not quite true. I don't go out of my way to get fired. But in the scale of threats, it doesn't figure large.

I've said before 'pick your battles' That implies pick the battles you can win and that is very sound advice. I really mean that. If I did as I said you should, rather than what I actually end up doing, I'd be in Cancun right now........in a shelter, but hey?

I am possibly one of the least 'political' guys on the planet. I act entirely on instinct. It's what makes me tick. Can't change that. Don't want to. So please bear that in mind when reading this blog. My rants here are pretty much the same as I'd do in person to a producer. That is NOT advisable by and large. I make a pretty good living, but I'd make a much better one if I kept my mouth shut. Or rather, developed some tact.

But I ain't gonna.

Both Existentialsmn and Jungesim are a requirement of a writer. Did I spell those right? Do you care?

You shouldn't. It's all bollocks.

Care about what you write and why you write it. Leave the lables for those who need them. And those who need them aren't writers.

Grandstanding dialogue but true nonetheless.

13 comments:

Fenian said...

One of the dangers of having a regular blog is that your personality starts to come through.

You actually come across as an obnoxious, belligerent, self righteous arsehole. Why anybody would hire you God knows. You must be massively talented for people to want to put up with you.

Rant, rave, bollocks, they're all cunts, fuck ‘em, I'm right and they’re wrong, piss, fuck, arse, they’re all twats, bullshit etc etc ad infinitum.

That's all your blog is to a large extent - an incessantly self pitying, aggressive, paranoid whine peppered with a multiplicity of expletives. Is it possible for you to express yourself without swearing? Are you that inarticulate?

Your blog is an appalling advertisement for you and your so called writing skills, and is about as entertaining or useful as genital warts. The tragedy is that you are capable of the occasional useful and interesting post but to be frank these are as rare as hen’s teeth. If I ever find out who you are rest assured I will open a special blacklist just for you.

English Dave said...

''You must be massively talented for people to want to put up with you.''


Okay I picked the best quote.

Anonymous said...

"If I ever find out who you are rest assured I will open a special blacklist just for you."

Jane Tranter's giving you your own blacklist? Wow.

Anonymous said...

Here's a suggestion Fenian, start your blacklist now. No one is forcing you to read English Dave's blog.

As a pro writer I very much identify with what he says. And believe me his advice is usually right on the money. To me, you don't sound like a writer, you don't even sound like someone who has the remotest idea of this business or what makes writers tick. A hot shot producer possibly?

Anonymous said...

Are you reading the same blog as me Fenian? I've just read more swears in your one post than the last dozen of Ed's.

Modesty forbids me from using the same kind of language to describe your ''rant''

I'm sure Ed doesn't really care but I hope attacks like this don't stop him from continuing to post and making my day.

Chip Smith said...

"One of the dangers of having a regular blog is that your personality starts to come through."

Personally speaking, those are the blogs I want to read. What's the alternative? Everyone toeing a corporate line? That would be fun.

And besides, as Ganhdi* once said, you can never be too cynical or too intelligent...

(* or was it Mr T? I forget)

Dave Anderson said...

I love what you do, English! You're an inspiration. And, believe me, if Fenian reckons you come across as 'an obnoxious, belligerent, self righteous arsehole', he or she ain't met me. I'm the biggest grump in British advertising.

Good Dog said...

"You actually come across as an obnoxious, belligerent, self righteous arsehole."

and all the rest....

What a great rank of greetings cards these would make.

Anonymous said...

I find ED's postings reassuring. Yes, he's obnoxious, self pitying, belligerent, self righteous, aggressive, paranoid...

But so I am.

Cos the bbc made me so.

Phill Barron said...

"You must be massively talented for people to want to put up with you."

I'd clip that further to "massively talented" and you've got yourself a comment for the back of your biography.

Anonymous said...

This is absolutely the best writing blog period. Please don't let arsewipes like 'Fenian' stop your brilliant postings. I would put you right up there with Malcolm X. Word.

CP

Anonymous said...

did you get drunk last night or summat?

English Dave said...

lol chaps! Thanks for the kind words and support, I think? lol I write in a stream of ..... something anyway. It goes from brain to keyboard with very little filter involved. That may cause offence sometimes and for that I am apologetic but unrepentant.

Personally I don't see myself as ''an obnoxious, belligerent, self righteous arsehole.'' or an incessantly self pitying, aggressive, paranoid whine peppered with a multiplicity of expletives.''

But basically this is my fucking blog, my fucking thoughts, and if some fucker, who's probably a fucking suit, doesn't like it or get it then they can always fuck off sharpish.

Aaaaah! Wait a minute......

lol